Re: An INTERNET DATING SITE, can you write a funny story and include 5 of these lines, just 4 the fun of it?

1. Why does GreatDate.com continue sending me matches of ex cons from Mongolia?
2. (You choose a Winston Churchill quote as one of your lines.)
3. Hey, baaaaaaaaaaaby….Mr. Perfect is here to rescue you.
4. My #@%^ computer froze JUST when I was going to answer the email of the guy who golfs,plays guitar,looks like Kevin Costner and gives free massage therapies!!!! (Guys….You can change this to a gal who resembles your dream woman.)
5. Ummmmm……Bungee jumping?
6. Yeah, like I’m gonna go out with a _________from Yugoslavia who’s running from the law AND resembles _________ !!!
7. My therapist says I’m ready to mingle with normal people, now.
8. ( You choose the title of a Tim McGraw song as one of your lines.)
9. Dear GAWD don’t let me run into anyone I know.
10. Am I the ONLY person on this site from planet Earth?
█ ►If you wish to answer this but need to wait, plese post your intent. Thank you.
► Ummm….Please, not plese.

Silva cursed out loud as she checked her email!

“Why does GreatDate.com continue sending me matches of ex cons from Mongolia?”

Her friend Sunshine smirked.

“Well…..you’re not getting any younger for one… and you can’t afford to be that picky……plus you did say they are EX cons!!

Silva frowned.

“You are SOO not funny!!”

Just then her computer made a strange sound.

“OH NO!!! My #@%^ computer froze JUST when I was going to answer the email of the guy who golfs,plays guitar, looks like George Clooney and gives free massage therapies!!!!”

Her friend Sunshine shrugged (easy for her to do since she HAD a boyfriend!!)

“Why don’t you try learning a new skill that might attract men…like bungee jumping!!”

Silva perked up!
.
“Ummmmm……Bungee jumping? Maybe that’s not a half bad idea!!”

“Goodbye Mr. Whoever You are”
(She pressed the ‘shut down’ button on her computer)

Perhaps Sunshine was right! She called the Slavic School of Skydiving and set up an appointment!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She now stood shivering in her spandex jeans and cursing the idiot that was supposed to meet her for her first lesson in bungee jumping.

“Dear GAWD don’t let me run into anyone I know”
She thought as she waited for Sven to arrive.

Just when her buns were about FROZEN and she was ready to leave he arrived.

“Hey, baaaaaaaaaaaby….Mr. Perfect is here to rescue you!!”

Silva gave him the once over.
Some Mr. Perfect he was!!
He was tall and lanky, and looked like a strong breeze would blow him over…plus he strongly resembled someone on a WANTED poster she had seen at the post office!!

Despite this the lesson went well and at the end Silva felt a sense of exhilaration.

She thanked Sven but he was insisting that she give him her number and agree to a date!

“Yeah, like I’m gonna go out with a criminal from Yugoslavia who’s running from the law AND resembles a bean pole!”

Sven didn’t understand what she said.

“What is a bean pole madam???”

Silva hissed at him!
“NEVERMIND!! My therapist says I’m ready to mingle with normal people, now I must go!!”

She left him standing there and hurried home thinking that the internet dating site, as bad as it was was, was a whole heap better than Sven!!!…plus now she had a new skill to add to her resume thanks to Sunshine……bungee jumping!!!

~~Very Sexy Hidden Camera~~